Confessions and the Start of a New(ish) Trail

Well, I think the time has come for some confessions, accountability, and motivation to start down a new(ish) trail for me. What is this trail you ask? The trail of kicking some mega-butt and knocking off a few extra pounds. You see, I'm one of those people that comes up with great ideas ... but tends to slack off on them after a while. Well, no longer! It's time to get my butt in gear and do something I've wanted to for a long time--actually lose weight.

Confessions

First off, some confessions to make.
1) I LOVE food. I just gotta be straight up--I have a really hard time surrendering to healthy food because I love all kinds of food. I think God has gifted me with this love of food (because it means I love cooking and baking and hosting), but I also need to develop some more self-control and healthy habits.
2) I love working out ... just not as much as I love food. Anyone who knows me knows that I love the YMCA, I love a good sweat, I love group fitness, and I love being active. I love the way it makes me feel. It just makes me really hungry.
3) I am always HUNGRY. Which is partially why I've never had success losing weight. It seems like the more active and healthy I am, the hungrier I get. It's massively frustrating to be constrantly hungry. It's what drives me to lose motivation 99% of the time.
4) I don't actually believe I can do this. Yeah, I feel like I'm stuck. That I'll never achieve the goal of losing a few pounds. I have mega-doubts based on my past record. But that's what leads me to the next topic ...

Accountability

Now that it's out there, I've got some accountability. If you're reading this, you're my accountability. I need your help. If you don't care about this at all, that's fine. But if you do, help me out. I need people to encourage me to eat healthier even if it's not as fun as junk food. I need people to encourage me with my big goals and show me it's possible. I need people to push me, because I can be a slacker.

Motivation

Hopefully by next blog post, I will have decided on a goal to motivate me. I'm looking into a half-marathon, 10k run, or Tough Mudder. So I'll keep you posted!

Closing Thoughts ...

This is just the beginning of my blog-accountability. I'm pretty pumped to use my blog as a place to vent, to share recipes, to share successes (and hopefully not failures), to ask for help, to motivate me to do things I never thought possible. So, if you're interested, keep watching. I'll be posting more!

Kelly's Butternut Squash Soup

My infamous Butternut Squash Soup Recipe-- I love it and everyone asks me for it!

Kelly's Butternut Squash Soup Recipe

6 tablespoons chopped onion
4 tablespoons margarine
6 cups (approx) peeled and cubed butternut squash
3 cups water
3 cubes chicken or vegetable bouillon
1/2 teaspoon dried marjoram
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
Brown sugar to taste
Cream or milk for extra richness

1. Boil the butternut squash until soft, drain, and set aside.
2. In a large saucepan, saute onions in margarine until tender. Add squash, water, bouillon, marjoram, black pepper. Simmer.
3. Blend in blender until smooth. Add brown sugar or maple syrup for sweetness and cream for an extra smooth treat!

The "Big C" (Contentment)

Sigh ... I wish I didn't have to say this, but I have really been struggling with my "Big C"--contentment. And like usual, I'm struggling with being content with my job situation (which feels more like a lack of job situation) and our finances.

I don't know if it's just who I am, but discontentment is that sneaky little sin that likes to tip toe it's way into my life just when I think everything is going well. Maybe it will always be like that ... maybe it's something I, like many other women, will always have to deal with. But I also know that my God has some encouraging words to say about contentment--and these words spoke to my heart this morning.

"⁶ But godliness with contentment is great gain. ⁷ For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. ⁸ But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. ⁹ Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. ¹⁰ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 

¹¹ But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. ¹² Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:6-12

Thank you God, for these words. I'm reminded that you love me and know my heart, and you can fill all the voids that are making me discontent. I'm reminded that I can't just linger in my discontentment as it may lead to other sins and destruction. I'm reminded that nothing in my life is an accident or chance--you are in control of all things and therefore I can trust you even in times of struggle.

My prayer and hope is that God can work out my discontentment and teach me to be happy with where I am and what I have. This morning, I felt Him gently remind me that if I was working today, I would not have had meaningful time alone with Him to work through some of my discontentment. And as I walked away from Starbucks (my favourite place to sit and meet with God), I felt my heart melting just a little as I clung to the truth that God loves me, even when I don't feel I deserve it, and His love never fails.

Trusting when it's easy

I know this blog title sounds odd ... so often we talk about trusting God when it's hard--when things are rough, when life is unpredictable. But I find my real issues of trust come when times are easy: life is good, I'm happy, and I don't "need" to trust God for anything in particular.

Today, during my workout, I listened to a song by Lecrae called Background. The lyrics read:

I had a dream that I was captain of my soul.

I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank.

So I don't want to take the lead

Cause I'm prone to make mistakes.

All these folks that follow me gon' end up in the wrong place.

So, just let me shadow You, and just let me trace Your lines.

Matter of fact just take my pen.

Here, You create my rhymes.

Cause if I do this by myself I'm scared that I'll succeed.

And no longer trust in You, cause I only trust in me.

And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction.
Paving a road to nowhere. Pour your life out for nothing.

The lyrics spoke deeply to me (the whole song is epic--check it out!).

Here's the thing about me: when life gets easy, it's not so much that I need God any less--it's that I trust Him with less, and me with more. And like Lecrae said, "If I do this by myself, I'm scared I'll succeed."

What do I mean by this? I think I am totally capable of succeeding in many areas of my life BY MYSELF. I could probably stop trusting in God right now, and still have a happy marriage, successful job, good friends. And that would be cool to some people (probably most people), but not to me. Because I'm not the centre of the universe, and when life all boils down ... I can't do anything to save myself from my own mortality, my own human-ness, my own proneness to mistake. I need a Saviour ... not just when times are tough, but every day of my life.

So I remind myself, when life is easy, I can't simply forget God and rely on myself. I have to trust Him with even the easy times ... with even the small things. If this sounds scary, it's not. It's one of the greatest joys of knowing Christ--that we are not simply living for ourselves, but for something greater ... the King of the Universe. It's also one of the defining features of a Christian, what sets us apart. We are not just following a "code of good morals", but genuinely trusting in the freedom of Christ.

Princess Identity

How many times have you heard a beautiful girl complain and cry out, "I'm ugly. I look fat!" 

How many times have you said that about yourself?

We've all been there. As young women, our teenage years are crucial in forming who we are and how we view ourselves (our identity or value). We start to build our value based on many things--grades, boys, popularity, beauty, family.

As young women, we can let so many things TELL US mixed messages about our identity and our value. Take a look at the following checklist, and mentally check off how many of the scenarios are true in your life.

• When a boy flirts with you, you feel great. When he passes you by without a second glance, you feel invisible.

• When you pass a test with a 90%, you feel like you might actually have a future one day. When you fail chemistry, you call yourself dumb or stupid.

• At lunch, when you are surrounded by friends in the caf, you feel safe and secure. When your best friends seem to be spending all their time together (without you), you begin to question what you did wrong.

• When someone compliments you on your looks, you feel beautiful, but only for a moment. Then, you see the mirror and all your insecurities show through.

• You feel okay with your favourite jeans on, but when it's laundry day, you go through the whole day feeling ugly and fat.

• When your parents are happy, you love them. But the moment they yell at you, you assume they hate you.

• When all your friends were single, you still thought you were pretty normal. But now that they've all had boyfriend, you feel like an unloved loser.

Almost every one of those scenarios came straight from my past--and maybe from your past OR present, too. Don't we do this all the time as young women--we feel great about ourselves when everything is going well, but we feel like trash when even one thing goes wrong? One day we like ourselves, the next day we don't.

Well it's time to BUST this cycle and bust the myth that our value is derived from these things!!!!!!!!

If you are a child of God, you are a princess! You have infinite value through Jesus Christ! 

Let me explain:

An earthly princess is a princess no matter what. They cannot "escape" their royalty, nor can they earn it. Their value as a princess is given to them at birth and they cannot lose it. No matter what they say or do, no matter if they are ugly or beautiful, fat or skinny, kind or mean, rich or poor, ONCE A PRINCESS, ALWAYS A PRINCESS.

Likewise, once we are born into God's family, we become daughters of the King of Kings. We are princesses, not because we earned it through our good looks or good deeds, but because He LOVES us and has adopted us as His daughters. We inherit all the riches of the King, and we inherit His identity. Jesus Christ loved us so much that He died for us, so that we may join His family.


Still don't believe it?

Ephesians 1:3-12 (MSG) says "How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.Still having trouble believing this? 

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."

Today is a Great Day to be a Princess ...

To all the princesses out there, it's time to start letting Christ's amazing love overwhelm you! Today, I dare you to start battling all the thoughts that come into your head and cause you to think low of yourself. Instead, try to remember that your real identity is a Princess--a daughter of Christ, wholly loved!

* In high school, I had this very special reminder list in my Bible, and I read it frequently. I highly recommend that you print it off and put it somewhere you will see it: Who I am in Christ. It has many MANY more verses that remind us of our identity!